Ndililandele igama lam

“Inene ulilandele igama lakho, Nomzamo.” Bathanda ukutsho abo bandaziyo, yaye abaphosisi. Kwabo bayaziyo imbali yam yonke yokukhula de kube ngoku, ndiqinisekile ukuba enye yezinto abangqinelana nam ngayo kukuba le ntetho ithi “ubom’ ngumzamo” iyichaza ngqo ngokuchanekileyo indlela endibuphila nendibubona ngayo ubomi.

Kwa imixholo yoninzi lwezibhalo zam kweli khasi belikekele ngamandla kule ntetho; jonga nje kwa esi sihloko seli khasi nesithi “Imizamo yethu.”

Ukuze ndikhethe esi sihloko, oku kwaphenjelelwa yingcingane yokuba izibhalo zam ndingathanda zigxile kakhulu kumabali namava abonakalisa ukubaluleka kokusebenzisana singabantu abamnyama, khon’ukuze sizise inguqu ezakuba yinzuzo kuthi sonke, ngenxa yemizamo yethu. Abahlobo bam bandiqhula qho ke ngelithi ezi nthetho zombini ndizithandiswa kukuba ziqulethe isishunqulelo segama lam * ‘Zamo.’

Kuba ke namhlanje ilusuku lam lokugqibela, ndisabelana nani ngeengcinga zam, ndithe ke mandiyiqwele le ngqokoqo ngokwenza umbulelo omfutshane kwabo nabo ngeli thuba ndalinikwa leli phephandaba, nalapho ndiye ndalola ingqondo yam ngokwabelana nani ngeengcinga zam ndingulo mbhali usakhasayo (orhubuluzayo nalapha ekukhaseni).

Mandilitsolise kwangoku elithi, nabani na othi ukubhala rhoqo kuye kunike umntu ukuzithemba ethubeni, uyaphosisa. Hayi apha kum; kuba kude kwakaloku nje ndisenguloo mntu unedyudyu nongenasiqinisekiso sokuba le ndlela ndibhala ngayo ingaba ikumgangatho onguwo na, kwaye nesigama endisisebenzisayo ayisesi siXhosa sinobulokishishi kakhulu phakathi.

Mhlawumbi ke oku kohlukile kwabo bangababhali abagqibeleleyo, kodwa endingakutsho kukuba ukubhala asiyondlwan’ iyanetha. Nam kude kwabalapha ndisazibuza mihla le ukuba ndikwazi njani ukuwugqiba unyaka ndibhalalela Isolezwe lesiXhosa iveki neveki. Ndiphinde ke ndibe namaxesha okuzixolisa ngelithi, ukuba indlela endibhala ngayo ibingaxolisi konke konke, noko umhleli omkulu ngesekudala wandikrwecel’ ecaleni. Inene ndibothulela umnqwazi bonke abo ilubizo lwabo ukubhala.

Babini, bathathu ke abantu endifuna ukubabulela namhlanje. Mandiqale ngomhleli wephephandaba, uMnu. Unathi Kondile, nowabhala amazwi andishiya ndineminkcili engaphaya kokuqonda mhla wathi “Lo nto uyayenza into ekuthiwa kukubhala isiXhosa.”

Oku wakuthetha emva kokufumana isibhalo sam sokuqala ngqa ukupapashwa phantsi kweli khasi. Lo kaKondile ke ngomnye wababhali endibahloniphileyo nendithanda usiba lwabo, nokuba selebhala ngesiXhosa okanye isiNgesi. Ndingamlibelanga umhleli weendaba, uMnu. Sithandiwe Velaphi, ngentsebenziswano entle kakhulu phakathi kwam naye ngeli thuba. Andiyazi ke ukuba bendiyakuba yintoni na ngaphandle kwabahlobo bam abangabonakaliyo, i-imaginary friends ngolwasemzini. Inene, zindithwele ezi zihlobo kolu hambo lwam; siphikisane, sijijisane ngeengcinga, kodwa ekugqibeleni side sivumelane ngazwinye, atsho aphokoke amazwi.

Kodwa akho loo maxesha zikhe zibhoke izihlobo zam, zindishiye ndilelo lolo limayamayaza lodwa. Azonqeni ke ukundingcungcuthekisa izihlandlo zide zilandelelane, zitsho ukundimonela ngeengcinga zazo. Umzekelo ophilayo ngulo wenzeka kule nyanga iphelileyo, nalapho ndaphela ndithumela isibhalo esihloko sithi “Ndiswele amazwi okubhala.”

Kwakukubi nyhani ngaloo veki, aphela onk’ amaqhinga, kwanyanzekela ndiyikhuphile inyani kubafundi bephephandaba. Ndandithwaxwa yi ‘writer’s block,’ ngamanye amazwi, abahlobo bam abangabonakaliyo bebekuqhankqalazo bengandichazelanga, kunani ke isilumnkiso.

Okokugqibela, mandibambe ngazo zozibini kuye nabani na obezidina ngokuthi krwaqu kweli khasi ngooLwezine, nakwabo bebendithumelela amazwi enxaso. Maz’ enethole nto zakuthi!