Niwafundisa ntoni la makhwenkwe madoda?

Kwinqaku leveki ephelileyo ndikhale ngokungaluki kwamakhwenkwe siwalusa, asuka abe lushica kunokuba oluke. Kwisikhalo sam ndigxile kumakhwenkwe oluswayo, de ndathi amanye awo ngesuka ayekwe enjalo kungabi saxhanyulekwa ngamakhaya ngokuzama ukuwenza amadoda.

Namhlanje ke ndithi umnatha wokukhangela amadoda makhe ndiwuphose ngasekunene; ndiwuphose ngakum apha mna mntu ndizibiza indoda. Imi ndawoni eyam indima kule nyula sikuyo yokungaluki kwamakhwenkwe siwalusa?

KweyoMnga wonyaka esiwushiyileyo, ndiyothenga impahla yokwakha eDyoki, ndisalinde uMamTolo enqweleni nongaphumiyo ke edolophini engazihambanga zonke iivenkile zayo. Ndibone amakrwala amabini enetyendyana lomfana elingumalusi wawo. La makhwenkwe ebeqolozele phantsi ngeyona ndlela, nto leyo ndingayiqhelanga ke. Koko kuqolozela phantsi elinye lawo labetheka ngomhlathi kabuhlungu kwiintsinjana ebezilayiswe yinqwelo ebiphambi kwale yakuthi nebezilayishwe zaphokela ngasemva. Ndithe ndisothuswe yileyo, nalo elinye lityhobeka kumama othwele isipakapaka sikamilimili; saa phantsi loo milimili. Ungxole ndeva ndinentsini loo mama. “Utyhobeka kum okwenkomo enonyongo nje kuxa uqolozele phantsi ukhangela ntoni? Ulahlekwe yipeni yokugqibekela kakade? Wena; siphukuphukundini somfana, ubayeka kuba kutheni abantwana ungabalungisi?” Kwekhu madoda!

Ukanti naseMaklere kwakuleyo yoMnga, ikwalikrwala eliqolozele phantsi, lihamba neqina lendoda elingumalusi walo. Eli krwala nale ndoda bathembiselene ngokuwela umgaqo phambi kweenqwelo-mafutha ezimileyo. Ithe sele iwela le ndoda suka yaphethuka ngokukhawuleza ngeloyika ukugiliswa, kanti ikrwala layo lilandela ngesantya apha emva kwayo.

Xhimfi ngenyheke ebunzi kweli krwala layo eliqolozele phantsi le ndoda. Ilingxolise ngomsindo kabukhali eli ikrwala le ndoda, isithi aliphulaphuli. Ikrwala nalo liphendule kabukhali, “ndilandela wena nje, ndenza into oyenzayo ngokomyalelo wakho, kanti ufuna ntoni kum”! Le ndoda ilibambe ngesixhanti eli krwala, ingayekanga ukulingxolisa. Nekrwala liyibambe ngesixhanti le ndoda, batshintshiselana ngamazwi ikrwala nendoda bebambene ngezixhanti esitalatweni! Ndizive ndisithi, ukuba kunokuthiwa mandibohlwaye aba babini, ndingaqala ndigalele ngamandla kule ndoda, ndigqibele ngokungxolisa eli ikrwala.

Ukubuyela kwam eKapa kule yoMqungu, ndibona ingqunguzana yamakrwala ichophile yenze isangqa. Ndisondele ndabeka indlebe. Ingaba ndiyaxoka mlesi ukuba ndithi kukho ito endike ndayiva kuloo nto ebexoxisana ngayo loo makrwala. Ibengathi ndimamele amabhantinti ebizana iinombolo zobuguvela basentolwengweni kwibali likanomathotholo! Ndincaze kwelikammelwane ngobekusontshwa nelindixelele ukuba bekubuzwana “isidoda” kwaye kukho elidliwe imbodlela yotywala bomlungu.

Ezintsukwini ezingaphambi kwezo ke bendive kwale nkwenkwe kammelwana ithwesa le kabawokazi besiyikhupha kutsha nje esi sidodandini. Ndive, ndeva, ndeva, ndaziva ndiyikwenkwe zizinto ebezithethwa yileyo nkwenkwe. Ingaba sesi sidoda sithi sibafaka kuso esi aba bantwana na bafondini? La makrwala azifundisiwa ngamadoda phaya ebhomeni ezi zinto azenzayo; ndishiya nje ukwazi uhlobo lwamadoda lawo. Ukususela kulawa ahamba etyhobeka kwizinto eziphambi kwawo ebemele ukuziphepha, ukuya kula athetha izinto endingazaziyo, nakwamanye ke enza ezinye izimanga; ezi zinto azenzayo ziyimfundiso ayinikwa ebhomeni!

Umbuzo wam ke kukuba nganjani la amadoda afundisa abakhwetha ezi zinto? Zizinto aye zifundiswe ngubani ezi azifundisa abantwana bethu? Ubudoda esafundiswa bona thina zizinto zesizwe, ezokuhlala, ezokuhlalisana kwaBantu, ezokumelana neengxaki zobomi nezokulungiselela ingomso. Baphoswa kweliphi icala obo ubudoda?

Laa mbuzo neza zisolo zabafazi ngakumadoda malunga nokuba kungani na bebuya benje abantwana esuthwini ndiyazingqina. Enokuba akukho ufundiswa ukubulala nokukhuthuza nokuzuma na esuthwini, kodwa ezi nto bazifundiswayo zikhokelela kwezo nto kanye. Umzekelo, xa ikrwala lingenako ukuyikhupha into elidliwe yona kuza kunyanzeleka ukuba benze into ngalo oogxa balo, nalo lizilwele, iqale ke imfazwe nobubhoja. Kanti niwafundisa ntoni na ke ngenyani la makhwenkwe madoda?

Ukuba ke asinokwenza inguqu kolu nyawu singqisha ngalo, sale le ntombi isiqhwabelayo, sivume ngoma yimbi, asikazu kuba nawo la madoda sifuna wona kulo mcimbi wolwaluso lwamakhwenkwe. Siseza kuthi gqolo sisenza la mabhantinti namapantsula sibuya nawo esuthwini. Make udede ke ngoku umhlangala endaweni yenyhwagi madoda, usimoshile isizwe. Makuthi ngoku kusekho intsalela yamadoda okwenyani kwenziwe inguqu, kuphuthunywe kumabutho amandulo.

Inkunzi ke kuyo yonke le nto kukukhankathisa amadoda amakhulu abaziyo ubudoda nokuvala abafana ekutyeleleni abakhwetha emabhomeni kwakunye nobukho bamadoda kwiimbutho zabafana ekuphumeni kwamakhwenkwe ukuze anqakule akhuphele ngaphandle ezo mfundiso zitenxileyo zabafana, kungenjalo zivalwe ezo mbutho.

Lilo elo ke elam, mna mntu ungqondwana ingange yentaka. Goba msenge iibhokwe zikutye!

Owenu kwisiXhosa, Nxuba.