#PrideMonth: Mabazazi, bazithembe!

INYANGA yeSilimela okanye uJuni yaziwa njengeNyanga yoLutsha (Youth Month) ngokwekhalenda yoMzantsi Afrika.

Kaloku ngomhla we16 kweyeSilimela ngonyaka ka1976 kulapho kwaphalala igazi lolutsha olwalulwela ukukhululeka emakhamandeleni wengcinezelo.

Olo suku, abanye balazi njengeSoweto Uprising okanye iYouth Day, kunanamhla oku lwaba yimbali engasoze ilityalwe nangubani eMzantsi Afrika.

Le nyanga, ayiphelelanga nje ekukhumbuleni ulutsha, kodwa ikwabekelwe bucala njengePride Month – ukuqaphela amalungelo nempilo yabo bathandana besini- sinye.

Ngokutsho konikezela ngentuthuzelo ngokwasemoyeni (Counselor) kwiWits Transgender Clinic eseBraamfontein eRhawutini, uAyanda Mhletywa, le nyanga iqaqambisa ukuzazi, ukuzithemba nokungoyiki ukuba ubani abe nguye.

UMhletywa ukholelwa ukuba oku kufanele ukuba yinto yemihla ngemihla nanjengoko kuthande ukuvama iziganeko zentiyo ngakwabo bathandana nesini esifana nesabo.

Encokolela I’solezwe lesiXhosa, uthi kufanele kusekwa amaqonga aliqela wokufundisa uluntu ngabo bathandana besini sinye.

UMhletywa, 47, yinzalelwane yaseTinarha (eyaziwa njengeKariega ngoku) , naye ngumfana othandana nabanye abafana.

Nangona eqale ukuzazi ukuba unomdla kwabo bafana naye ngo1989 esenza ibanga lesine okanye uGrade 6 ngokwala maxesha, kodwa kumthathe ixesha ukuphumela elubala.

“Ndikhule ndiyinkwenkwana ecinga ukuba inomdla wamantombazana, ndiqasha amantombazana namanye amakhwenkwe de ndaziva ndinomdla kugxa wam esasikunye eklasini. Ndaphawula ukuba indlela endimthanda ngayo yileyo ekufanele ukuba ndithanda ngayo umntwana oyintombazana, ” kubalisa uMhletywa.

Uthi kwangaloo nyaka wayesele esazi ukuba bakho abantu abathandana nesini esifana neso sabo.

” Kwango1989 ndandisazi ukuba bakhona abantu abageyi, nam ndaye ndazazi ukuba ndingomnye wabo bantu kodwa ndazifihla ithuba elide. “

UMhletywa uzifihle iminyaka engaphaya kwamashumi amabini (20).

Uthi uqale ukonwabela ubomi bakhe ukufika kwakhe eYunivesithi eBhayi ngo1996, apho wadibana nabanye abafana naye, bamnika ukuzithemba.

” Nangona nalapho zange ndiphumele elubala kwangoko, kodwa ndakwazi ukwenza izinto ngokukhululekileyo, njengokubonisa uthando emfaneni esidlangalaleni,” kuncokola uMhletywa.

Kwezi ntsuku, indawo yaseKariega ithande ukuba yenye yeendawo ezidume njengezo zinodushe ingakumbi kwabo bathandana besinisinye.

Kutsha nje kukhe kwakho isiganeko sokubulawa kwendoda ebithandana namanye amadoda.

UMhletywa uthi bekumnandi ukukhulela eKariega njengenkwenkwana egeyi.

“Kum kwakuyinto eqhelekileyo ukukhulela eTinarha njengomntwana ogay, abanye de baqhule ukuba kudala bendibona ndigeyi qha ndizifihla. Ndifumene intlonipho kubo,” kutsho uMhletywa, okwadume ngesiteketiso sikaMadosini.

Yiminyaka eyi21 kulo nyaka uMhletywa ephila khululekileyo njengomfana othanda abanye abafana, kwaye uthi akukabikho zingxaki. Waphumela elubala ngonyaka ka2000 eminyaka eyi26 ubudala.

Uthi abo beLGBTQI kufanele babuphile ngendlela eqhelekileyo nekhululekileyo ubomi babo.

“Yindlela oziva ngayo ngokwesini nangemvakalelo. Kulungile ukubaGay okanye ube yiLesbian. Phila njengabantu bonke, yiya esikolweni, udlale nebhola xa ufuna, ungaphili ubomi bakho ngendlela obizwa ngayo,” kucebisa uMhletywa.

UMhletywa uncome icandelo lezolonwabo nezempilo ngokufundisa banzi ngempilo yeLGBTQI. Ukutsho oku ebalula imidlalo kamabonakude efana neAfter 9, amawonga afana neeFeather Awards nonomathotholo iGaySA Radio esePitoli.

Simbuza ngezinye zezonyeliso abazifumanayo njengabantu abathandana besini sinye.

“Ukuba bayakwazi ugeyi bavele bakutshintshe, ufike bekukhwaza ntombazana, peto okanye mfazi njengendlela yokwenza isigqezu.

Abanye bakubuze ukuba ‘bekutheni ze ungenzi abantwana kuqala phambi kokuphila impilo yobugeyi?’ abanye bathi ‘kutheth’ ukuba uza kuguga ungenabantwana, uza kubhubha ungenafoto yakho engumntwana’ nezinye izonyeliso,” kubalisa uMhletywa.

Wongeze ngelithi abantu bafanele bafundiswe nangokuba ukubageyi akuthethi ukuba kuyaphela kwiminyaka ethile, koko bubomi ubani abuphila de aguge okanye asweleke.

Uthi zininzi iindlela abantu abageyi abanokwenza ngazo xa bebefuna abantwana, koko bambi bakhethe ukungabinabo.

Uthi abantu bamaziphe ixesha lokuncokola nabo bageyi ukuze bafunde banzi ngempilo yabo.

Ngokolwazi lukaMhletywa, okubangela ukuba ubani abegeyi kusendalweni.

Uthi okwenza abantu bangakukholelwa oko ngeliny’ ixesha ngabo wofika besithi “mna ndidiniwe kukudlalwa ngamadoda okanye amantombazana ndiza kuthandana nabo bafana nam, oko kuye kubangele abantu bacinge ukubageyi yindlela yokuphila ubani athi ayikope okanye azikhethele.”

Uthi unethemba lokuba ngenye imini abantu baya kuze babonwe njengabantu endaweni yokuba bazintoni okanye benza ntoni, esithi ukubizwa ngamagama okuba ubani ugay, ulesbian okanye ustraight kuko okubangela ukuba abantu abageyi boyike ukuphumela elubala.

UMhletywa, othi ukhule ethandwa kwaye exhaswa kokwabo, ucebisa abazali ngelithi mabafunde ukuthanda nokwamkela abantwana babo xa begeyi kuba umntwana othandwa ekhaya uye azithembe nasesitratweni.

UMhletywa usebenza kwicandelo elijongene nempilo yeLGBTQI, uthi abantu abageyi kufanele bayihoye impilo yabo. Usebenza neekliniki ukufundisa amagosa ezempilo ngeemeko abanokuziqaphela okanye abaza kudibana nazo xa begagana nabo bageyi.

“Abantu abageyi bayathanda ukoyika okanye babeneentloni zokuya kuqonda ngempilo yabo ekliniki, oku kufuneka kuphele,” utshilo.