Athi amaXhosa itsawule ayiloboli, umfazi olotyolwe ngayo uwutsalisa nzima umzi ngokuthanda izinto zexabiso eliphezulu. Andazi nokuba liyinene na ke elo, okanye yintetha njee evela xa umfazi kucaca ukuba uyawuchitha mpela umzi ngokuthanda ngokugqithisileyo izinto ezixabiso liphezulu, kuthiwe ke xa ephoxwa ‘walotyolwa ngetsawule’.
Isizathu sokuba ndiyikrokrele le ntetha yobuciko kukuba umfazi ngumntu wexabiso ngendalo. Ukwenziwa kwentombi umfazi kuziindleko ezingaphaya kokuqonda. Umzi uyaxakeka ube manxadanxada ungene ezindlekweni kusenziwa umfazi.
Ixabiso lomfazi aliqali nje akuba ngumfazi, lisusela kwasebuntombini bakhe. Intombi ikhula ifundiswa ukulazi ixabiso layo, inonotshelwe nxa zonke, ngokwahluke mpela kwindlela yokukhulisa indodana. Ikhula ibizwa ngokuba yintyatyambo yekhaya, iphethwe okweqanda lona lithi lakuphatheka kakubi likroboke.
Naxa izocelwa ukuba ibe ngumfazi wasemzini kuthiwa kuzocelwa ‘isitya esihle sexabiso’ esibonwe kulowo mzi wakokwayo. Umfana xa abone intombi anokuyenza umfazi kuthiwa ‘uphandliwe’ bukhazi-khazi baloo ntyatyambo yelo khaya.
Akanyali ke umfazi ukuzigcina enguloo mntu wexabiso. Zithi nezinto zakhe athande ukuba ibe zizinto zexabiso, ufike nendoda yakhe eyizama ukuba ihlale ikhangeleka okomntu womntu wexabiso.
Ndike ndonyeliswa sesinye isityhifili somfo ngezinto ezingendawo, erhuqa isihomo sam eludakeni. Wathi akuyiva uMamTolo loo nto walila iinyembezi kwafuneka kuthuthuzelwane naye, ndabe ke phofu mna mntu wonyeliswayo ndingakhange ndenze nomtsi ukuyiqhankqalazela leyo yonto. Ndandingayise so nakancinci oku komsuzo wexhego, kuba yayiyinto njee yamahaya. UMamTolo wakuthatha oko konyeliswa kwam wakusingisa kuye, engasadluli nakum ngamanyathelo akhe. Azange ndiwone mna owam, kuba ke ndihleli ndingulo xhentsenkunkumeni ndinguye, mhlawumbi neso sonyeliso sasindifanele.
Phaya endlwini izolo sifelwe sisibandisi endandisithenge kwivenkile yamasekeni azo kwiminyaka elishumi edlulileyo. Ndithe ke kuye noko singahlala singenaso okwakaloku nje kuba kusebusika, izinto ezininzi zizibandela zingafakwanga sibandisini, azikhawulezi nokonakala.
Nditsho ndisithi masikubekele intwaswahlobo ukuthengwa kwesitsha, sibe sihlenga-hlengisa iimali. Kubenga ndimphathe emanyeni. Undixelele ezinkonkqeni ukuba mandilibale ngaloo nto, soze ahlale engenasibandisi yena!
Namhlanje uvuke waphinda wawuchukumisa umcimbi wasibandisi endithe masingathengwa, endibona ukuba wenziwa yinto yokuba ndingakhange ndimphendule koko kulophoza kwakhe endilwisa kuba ndisithi masihlale singenasibandisi.
Uchaze uhlobo lwesibandisi aza kusithenga. Usibalule wasiqaqambisa ngendlela endiye ndafumanisa ukuba siza kubanazo neendawo ezicofwayo apha elucangweni izinto ezithile ziziphumele ungadanga wada wabe usivulile. Tyhini!
Kuye ukufa kwesi sibandisi lithuba elihle lokuba anyuse umgangatho wesibandisi sethu. Bekukudala ke phofu esigxeka eso besinaso, kuba ke kambe ndandisithenge ngaphandle kwakhe, wabuya emsebenzini sele sikhona ekufeni kwesasinaso. Mhlawumbi kungandinceda ukusuka ndiphinde kwangolwa hlobo ndandenze ngalo, andibulale ke!
Mna ndicinga ngexabiso eliphezulu lesi sibandisi asifunayo, ndilithelekise nesimo sezemali apha endlwini, kuba kaloku besingacwangciselanga kuthenga sibandisi kulo nyaka. Yena ke kwelakhe icala ufuna kanye loo nto ixabiso likhulu njengomntu wexabiso.
Abafana banamhlanje abazeki, ukwendisa kunqabile. Mhlawumbi bengazeki nje bacinga ezi ndleko zokuba nomfazi. Nabafana esinabo ke namhlanje bayafana nabafazi ngokuthanda izinto zobunene ezixabiso likhulu.
Uchwenene womfana ufika angalungelani ke ngoku nomfazi, umntu wexabiso ngendalo, bachithane ke kuba umfazi engena kunanisa ngendalo yakhe ngento elingenela. Kwandile ke ukuchitheka kwemizi yabo.
Goba msenge iibhokhwe zikutye!
Owenu kwisiXhosa, Nxuba.
ElaseTopiya lihamba phambili ngeenkomo eAfrika