Xa intombazana ikhulelwe, nenkwenkwana kumele igxekwe

Iindlebe zilisela, kwiminyaka embalwa eyadlulayo ndakha ndeva incoko phakathi kwesibini sabantu abangoomama malunga nolutsha olukhulelwa luselula.

Omnye wazityanda igila malunga nentombazana yakhe eneminyaka elishumi elinesine ekhulelweyo. Omnye wathi ukuphendula: “Ndiyavuya ndingenayo ingxaki ekumila kunjalo; ndalizwa ngamakhwenkwe odwa”.

Intetho yakhe yanditsho ndamadolwanzima. Ndazibuza umbuzo owodwa, kanti ukukhulelwa kwentombazana kulityala kuye kuphela na? Xa kunjalo, ingaba yona inkwenkwe ixoxiswa kuthiweni? Yona bekungafanele isebenzise isikhuseli?

Njengoko besivala inyanga yolutsha, kuyethusa ukuba kusekho abantu phakathi kwethu abangenaliso lokubona ukuba kuthatha isibini ukwenza umntwana. Akekho umntu onokuzikhulelisa. Ngoko ke kungani kuhlala kutyibekwa intombazana ngeziphoso. Ngapha koko, ukuba ngumama kwentombi ingatshatanga, kuxela ukuba nenkwenkwe leyo ibengutata ingatshatanga. Bayafana, abathetheleleki ngokufanayo. Ekufuneka sikuqaphele kukuba: ukukhulelwa kolutsha- ucwangciso- luxanduva lwesibini esiquka intombazana kunye nenkwenkwe.

Enyanisweni kumele sikhulise amakhwenkwana ethu ngandlela inye namantombazana ethu. Ngelishwa, ntsuku zonke amawaka amantombazana asemancinci ayakhulelwa kwaye azale. Njengoko la mantombazana engazikhulelisi, amakhwenkwe kumele angenelele ukunciphisa amathuba okukhulelwa kwamantombazana ngokuthi angalali nawo okanye xa ezibandakanya ngokwesondo asebenzise ukhuselo lwekhondom, oko kubaphephisa nakwizifo ezifumaneka ngokwabelana ngesondo.

Ingxelo yeenkcukacha manani zoMzantsi Afrika nekhutshwe kunyaka ophelileyo, yabonisa ukuba kwiminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo iPhondo leMpuma Kapa libonise ukukhulelwa kolutsha okulinganiselwa kwizigidi ezingamashumi amathathu. Noxa ingxelo eyaboniswa lisebe lezentlalontle kwiphondo leMpuma Kapa kunye, yabonisa ukuba ukukhulelwa kolu lutsha kuyingxaki, kumaxesha amaninzi olu lutsha ludla ngokube lungenanjongo zokufumana abantwana okanye ukukhulelwa.

Ukuba nomdla wokwabelana ngesondo kwabantwana abasebancinci, kuko okunyusa amathuba okukhulelwa kungenacwangco kuqala okanye isisu eso singakhange sifunwe ngabo bobabini abazali abaselula. Xa ndijonge kwizinto ezifaka ifuthe kwizizathu ezenza abantu bakhulelwe bengakhange banqwene, ndiqaphele ukuba unobangela kukutshata kwabantu besebancinci, okunye kungenxa yabantu abatsha abazibandakanya kwezesondo ngomdla wokufunda ngokwabelana.

Ngamanye amaxesha abantu basetyhini bazifumana kwiimeko apho ekunzima ukuziphilisa ngenxa yokungabi namali, kube ukuzala konyuse izidingo ezifuna umntu asebenzise imali, oku kumaxesha amaninzi kwenza amabhinqa azibone sele elala nabafana khona ukuze abanike imali. Okugqwesayo kukulala nabantu abaninzi ngaxeshanye kuba oko kwandisa izifo ezifana noGawulayo nezosulelwa ngokwabelana ngesondo.

Inene olunye ulutsha lukhulelwa kuba lufuna ukuthandwa, befuna ukwamkeleka kwaye bafumane inkxaso yemali kumaqabane. Ngelinye ithuba, abanye bayakhulelwa kuba abakwazanga ukunqanda oko bebengakufuni kumaqabane abo, abanye balibala ukusela iipilisi zokucwangcisa, noxa abanye bekholelwa ukuba ukuhlaba inaliti yokucwangcisela ukukhulelwa kusisenzo sobubi.

Kwakhona kumaxesha amaninzi, ulutsha lucinga ukukhulelwa akunokubehlela. Xa ubuza uninzi olunabantwana ufumana impendulo eyodwa “Azange ndicinge ingenzeka kum”, abangakuqondiyo kukuba ukukhulelwa kwenzekela wonke umntu.

Ndiyavumelana nesishwankathelo sengxelo ethi ukuze ehle amanani olutsha olukhulelwayo kuyanyanzeleka kubekhona intsebenziswano phakathi kwezikolo, iikliniki, iintsapho kunye neeNkosi eziphetheyo ekuhlaleni. Isicwangciso sokulwa le ngxaki kumele siquke iinkonzo kuluntu kunye nokufundiswa malunga nezesondo.

Ukufundisa ulutsha malunga ngesondo kulula kwaye kuluncedo. Oko kuzakunceda ulutsha lwethu ukuphila ngendlela eyiyo nebonisa indlela yokwenza echubekileyo. Oku kuzakuguqula indlela yokwenza izinto kulutsha lwethu. Asoze kwakhona sibone abantwana bethu begaxeleka kwizinto abangakwaziyo kuzimela.

Isisombululo kunye nemfundiso yethu kumele sifake ithemba, ukuzimisela, ukuzithemba kunye nokumelana noxanduva kubantu abatsha.

Kumele nolutsha luqale luzibuze imibuzo ebalulekileyo phambi kokuba azibandakanye kwezesondo, imibuzo efana nale: Ukuba ndiyakhulelwa, ndiyakumnakekela njani umntwana wam? Ukuba ndibanaye umntwana ndiyakuziva njani ngalo nto, abantu bayandijonga njani, ingaba ndiyakuhlonipheka na? Ukuba ndizala ndisemncinci, ingaba utata womntwana uyakuqhubeka endixhasa kwaye edlala indima ekukhuliseni umntwana lowo?

Kufuneka ulutsha lufunde ukuthi “HAYI”. Kwelinye icala inkwenkwana ethe yakhulelisa, kumele ibonise ubudoda ngokuthi ikhule ngokwengqondo, hayi ngokwabelana ngesondo.

Okokugqibela kuni bazali, bafundisi-ntsapho, bantu basekuhlaleni nini ekumele nibambisane ukulwa ingxaki yolutsha olukhulelwayo. Thethani kwaye nikhuthaze abantwana ngokuba bafunde, baphile ngendlela ehloniphekileyo, ngokuba batshate, kubengona baqala ezabo intsapho. Kwaye xa intombazana ikhulelwe, nenkwenkwana kumele igxekwe.

*uPhumulo Masualle yiNkulumbuso yePhondo leMpuma Kapa. Ungamlandela kunxibelelwano luka Twitter ku @EC_Premier.