Ayisosithembu esiya, ‘sisiMseleku’

Ngokubhalwa nguKhaya LamaDosini

XA sishiya ngasemva le nyanga yamanina, eyinyanga esiyishiya sijongise iintloko ezantsi singamadoda amaninzi, singabanye sineentloni ukubizwa njengamadoda ngenxa yobundlobongela bamanye amadoda obuqaqanjiswe ziziganeko zokuhlaselwa nokubulawa kwabafazi ngamadoda kwiindawo ngeendawo zeli lizwe laseMzantsi Afrika.

Oku kusenziwa ikakhulu kwakule nyanga ibekelwe ukuhlonipha amanina negalelo lawo. Isizwe siyagula sifuna naliphi ikhubalo lokuncedisa ukuthibaza nokuncothula nengcambu lo mkhuba wokuhlaselwa, ukugwintwa nokubulawa kwamanina ongumkhuba onezothe, umdintsi netyheneba.

Ngaxa linye xa siphuma kule yamanina inyanga, sikweyenkcubeko nobugcisa, ndithi makhe ndivele njengoko inkcubeko nayo ityholwa ngendima eyidlalayo ekucinezelweni nasekunyhashweni kwamalungelo abasetyhini. Njengendoda enofifi ngamasiko nezithethe, nekwatshatileyo, ndinqwenela ukuphawula ngomtshato omakhosikazi amabini athe endela kwindoda enye ekuthiwa – sisithembu.

Uluvo lwam lusekelwe ekuhlalutyeni nokuhla amahlongwane inkqubo kamabonakude eyinkqubo ethandwa ngamadoda anqwenela ukuzeka isithembu ebhexeshwa nguMashobane, uMusa Mseleku ebizwa ‘Uthando Nesithembu.’

Ndifuna ukulitsolisa ndithi emva kokubukela iziqendu ezimbalwa zale nkqubo kamabonakude, nangona lo kaMashobane omakhosikazi mane eyindoda esiphilayo isithembu, ndifuna ukuthi ngalixa linye, la nto okanye la ndlela kwenziwa ngayo ngulo kaMseleku kula nkqubo yindlela eyelelene nesithembu kodwa ayisiso.

Umsi nenkungu ziyafana kodwa aziyonto enye. Uluvo lwam ke kukuba ayiyiyo ndlela ilungileyo yokufuna isithembu leya phantsi kwezi ngongoma zilandelayo.

Okokuqala awukwazi ukufuna isithembu ungenazo iintsiba kuba uza kulambisa umkakho nomntwana wabantu lo ufuna umenza umfazi wesibini.

Umzekelo amaSilamusi, eyinkolo evumela abalandeli bayo ukuba umntu angathatha amakhosikazi ade afike kwisine xa iipokotho zendoda zivuma enza kanje, kuqalwa kujongwe ukuba iipokotho zakho ndoda ecela isithembu zinzulu ngokwaneleyo na ukuxhasa iintsapho ezimbini. Xa uthatha inkosikazi yesibini, awumthathi umfazi wesibini aze kuhlala emzini womfazi wokuqala.

Ayihambi ngolo hlobo. Xa uthatha owesibini umfazi kufuneka umakhele owakhe umzi kude kulo wokuqala unkosikazi, ukwenzela elowo azenzele into zakhe akwazi nokuzonwaya kwakhe. Okunye ke koku, akunyanzelekanga ukuba babe bahlala kwinxiwa elinye, ukunqanda hleze kungakho ungquzulwano kula makhosikazi xa ehlalelana omnye kufutshane nomnye. Xa sele usithathile isithembu usebenzela ukuba ibe ngumakulinganwe osekelwe ekuhloniphaneni kwendlu yokuqala nale yesibini.

Naxa sele uthengela omnye umfazi ilokhwe, ikhabhathi okanye imoto, wenza kanjalo nakomnye. Kufuneka ube namandla okusondla isithembu, okanye uhambele kude kuso xa ungumfokazana, qwaba. Okunye okubalulekileyo kufuneka ube nendlela yokohlula ixesha lakho ngokulinganayo phakathi kwesi sibini sabafazi.

Xa sele zabiwe ezi ntsuku zokutyelela amakhosikazi, uqinisekisa ukuba awutyeleli komnye unkosikazi ngexesha elabelwe omnye. Nanini na!, ngaphandle kokuba yimeko yokuphila nokufa.

Eyona ntsika yokuqala kukuba isithembu sithathwa ngemvume kankosikazi wokuqala emva kokuba kujongwe zonke iinkalo sesi sibini sitshatileyo kwaza kwavunyelwana ngokufuneka nokwamkeleka kwaso. Kufuneka kubekho izizathu ezivakalayo ozibekayo unganyanzelisi kuba nje uyindoda. Awuthi xa uzocela uze nomntu osele uthandana naye, ayihambi njalo. Uqala ngemvume ulandele ke kwakuvunywa ukhangele.

Into endiyibonayo kule nkqubo kabawo uMseleku ngamadoda aqala ukukrexeza ade enze nempazamo yokulala namantokazi ebhedini yomfazi wokuqala. Akumele ukuba kunjalo. Okwangoku pha kwinkqubo kabawo uMseleku umntu uya ngaphandle afune intokazi, adyole ekrexezela lo mfazi wokuqala.

Xa kumnandi kulo makhwapheni amthembise ngokumenza unkosikazi wesibini. Athi gqi unkabi esithi ucela isithembu kwaye sele ehamba noMseleku nentokazi eneenwele zomsila wehashe, ezocela imvume. Eso ayisosithembu kwaphela, uqala ucele ulandele ukukhangela umntu.

Oku kwenziwa kukuba xa uzocela imvume yesithembu uza ulindele u ‘ewe’ okanye u ‘hayi.’ Awuceli sowunentonga esemgqubeni.

Yiyo nale nto xa oomamomkhulu xa bengavumi ukusamkela isicelo sokuthathwa kwesithembu uye uve lo ubiwayo endumzela esithi, “noba akavumanga umomkhulu, indoda andizoyiyeka kuba nam ndiyayithanda” Elam lokugqibela la nkqubo ayisosithembu, mhlawumbi singayithiya igama ngombhexeshinkqubo sithi, “sisiMseleku”.

Xa la manqanaba uwaphazamile kufana nokwakha entlabathini, lo nto obuzama ukuyakha isala ichitheka msinya okwendlu eyakhiwe ngamakhasi. Ndisatshaya!