Ingaba izila linyhasha ilungelo loomama?

Ukunxiba impalane, okanye impahla yezila, yinto eqhelekileyo kumakhosikazi abhujelwe ngamadoda.

Isizathu, ngokokutsho kweengcali neengcaphephe zemiba yesiNtu, kukuba inkosikazi kufuneka ibonise intlonipho kwindoda yayo. Kodwa umbuzo ngowokuba ingaba ukunxiba izila kunyhasha amalungelo oomama?

Okanye ngoomama bodwa abafanele ukuzila? Ingaba ukunxiba izila akongezi ntlungu kulo nkosikazi ibhujelwe yindoda?

I’solezwe lenze udliwano-ndlebe neengcali zemiba yesiNtu lisiva izimvo malunga nomba wokunxiba izila kwinkosikazi ebhujelweyo.

UGqirha Nokuzola Mndende weCamagu Institute eDutywa, uthi mandulo indoda yayizilelwa ngokuthi kutyatyekwe umzi wakowayo ngodaka, kuchithwe amasi futhi kungenziwa mcimbi de kwenziwe izila.

“Le yokunxiba iimpahla ezimnyama ayilosiko, kuba ezi mpahla zifike nabantu bangaphandle. Ezi mpahla zifike nabelungu. Kudala ezi mpahla zimnyama bezinxitywa ngabahlolokazi kuba befuna ukwaziwa ukuba babhujelwe ngamadoda emigodini,” utshilo uMndende. UMndende ukubona ukuzila kwamakhosikazi “njengesibophelelo” sokuba loo nkosikazi ingakwazi ukwenza iingxaki zomzi wayo ngokukhululekileyo.

“Ukuzila yinto ebifanele ingaphakathi emntwini hayi ngembonakalo ngaphandle,” utshilo uMndende.

Yena uLoyiso Nqevu, ingcaphephe kwimiba yesiNtu, uthe: “Ukuzila kukuziphezisa nokucweza ungasondeli kwizinto ozithandayo. Wonke umntu uyazila xa efelwe, nokuba uyindoda okanye uyinkosikazi. Abanye abantu bazila ngamaqhosha, abanye bazila ngokucheba inkqayi.”

UNqevu uthi naye ebebhujelwe yinkosikazi kwinyanga yeKhala ngo2015. “Ndayizilela inkosikazi yam ukusukela ngala nyanga ukuya kweyeSilimela ngonyaka ophelileyo. Ngelo xesha ndandizikhwebule ekukhwazeni futhi ndandingavumeli mntu ukuba angene kwigumbi lam nenkosikazi yam ebhubhileyo, de ndabe ndiyatshata nenye inkosikazi emva konyaka. Ekutshateni kwam nenkosikazi yesibini ndiye ndayakhela omnye umzi,” utshilo uNqevu, esithi ukunxiba iimpahla ezimnyama okanye eziluhlaza yinto efike nabantu basemzini – amaRoma.

Umphandi wemiba yesiNtu uMpumelelo Makuliwe, uthi sele ijike yasisithethe into yokuzila. UMakuliwe uthi into esele iqapheleka kukuba amakhosikazi amaninzi azila kuba ethanda.

“Abantu besiXhosa baye bazihlonipha izinto zesilungu zade zasisithethe, zade zabetheleleka kubo. Kudala abantu ababhinqileyo babekoyika ukuzila kuba besithi kwenza isimnyama (amashwa),” utshilo uMakuliwe.

Ingcali kwimiba yesiNtu uPhuthumile Fuyani, yena uthi ukuzila emzini akufanelanga kuxhomekeka emntwini omnye – inkosikazi.

“Ifanele ukuba likhaya lonke elizilayo xa kusweleke isihlobo emzini. Ngokomzekelo abantu baloo mzi bathethele phantsi hayi phezulu. Ukuzila sisinxibo nokwenza. Ukuba kukho iindawo ekufanele umama ozilileyo angayi kuzo, notata obhujelweyo kufanele ukuba angayi kwezo ndawo kuba izila yimeko yekhaya,” utshilo uFuyani.

Inkosikazi yaseMaqwambeni eMqanduli, esandula ukukhulula izila, ithi ibizile ngenxa yokwazi ukuba sisithethe ukutshintsha isinxibo xa inkosikazi ibhujelwe yindoda.

“Ndakhula kuzilwa ngumama obhujelweyo, asikokuba bendizikhethele ukuzilela indoda yam. Apha kwaBomvana kuyazilwa ngabafazi xa bebhujelwe ngamadoda,” itshilo le nkosikazi.

USakhumzi Gwebindlala oyindoda yaseLady Frere uthi yena akavumelani nokunxitywa kwezila.

“Kumele ukuba sikhangele ukuba kuqala lalivela phi izila, leza nabani, njani entlalweni yabantu. Ingaba kutheni lilinye eli cala lizilayo xa kukho obhubhileyo, akumele ukuba ubani agqityelwe ukuba makazile njani. Inzila le yinto yangaphakathi akumele ukuba ibe ngembonakalo yangaphandle, ubani angazila ngokuhlala emzini wakhe, ngokwenza izinto ezibonisa inzila. Isinxibo esi sona yingcinezelo yaba mama banxityiswa eli zila, kuba le nto yenza ukuba babonwe naphi, nanini, nangubani ukuba bona babhujelwe ngamadoda.

“Oku konke kwenzeka logama amadoda wona ephila ubomi obuqhelekileyo ehamba esithubeni ehleka, onwabile, encwasa, ethandana xa kubhubhe amakhosikazi wawo. Makuzilwe ngaphakathi kungenziwa ngendlela engabonakaliyo,” utshilo uGwebindlala.

Kunyaka ophelileyo amakhosikazi aseNgcobo, kwindibano awayeyibambile, kwinqaku elalipapashwe liphephandaba I’solezwe, avakalisa ukuwunyevulela umba wokuzila esithi unyhasha amalungelo abo.

Kumdlalo kanomathotholo owawubizwa ngokuba yiRadio Transkei (lo ngoku inguMhlobo Wenene FM) owawusithi “Kuzile Kwamna Unotshe”, umlinganiswa owayenguMaTshezi wala kwaphela ukuzila ecelwa ngootata bekhaya kulandela ukubhujelwa yindoda eyayimphethe kakubi imthengela nootsotsi ifuna abhubhe ukuze izokonwaba.