Inqaku likagxa wam, okaNzawumbi, lomhla we-12 kweyoMqungu 2017 malunga nokungabikho kootata kubomi babantwana, lichukumisa inkxalabo endinayo ngalo mba.
Ndihlala ndizibuza ukuba sisizukulwana esinjani na esi sisidalayo kule mihla, apho umzali abamnye ebomini bomntwana?
Okona kundixhalabisayo ke mna kukudalwa kwale meko ngabomu, ngokuthi kuzalwe ngaphandle komtshato.
Le ichazwa ngugxa wam yokungavani kwabazali nokungahoyi kootata emva kweyantlukwano ayinothiwani bani, kuba idalwa zizinto ezahlukeneyo.
Asingezibulali kakhulu ke ngezo nto, sizixhoxh’ igila ngenkukhu kammelwana. IsiXhosa ke kambe sibe siyikhusele le meko, qha ke kuba akusabanjwe kwasona eso; kunje ke!
Sele iqheleke de yangathi ngummiselo into yokuba umntwana akhule enomzali omnye kule mihla. Amankazana azakhela imizi ayihlale nabantwana bawo ngaphandle kooyise babo, kungabikho gxeke naxanasi.
Nento yokuba ngamnye kubantwana benkazana abe noyise owahlukileyo kowomnye iqhelekile, ingakumbi ke nje ngokuba amankazana sele enemizi eyiyeyawo.
Umba wokuba intombi iya kuba nomntwana nini ukwizicwangciso zeentombi zethu. Kwezo zicwangciso akuthethwa nto ngomtshato, wona nto ingaxhomekekanga kuwo, kuthethwa ngokuzala kuba izitshixo zezizalo zazo zikuzo.
Intombi xa sele ifuna umntwana ayikhathali nokuba imfumana enjeni na, okuba phambili kuyo kukufumana umntwana qha. Isimanga senkobongela idumbisile!
Ekwandeni kwalo mkhuba kukho nabathi bamitha/bamithisa ngempazamo. Unotshe! Akukho nto yenziwa zisaziwa iziphumo zayo ze zakubakho kuthiwe ziyimpazamo. Yini le!
Lo mkhuba ungxamele ukuba ngumthetho nje kungenxa yoluntu olufelwe yingqiqo oluthi luyithwalela amehlo intombi xa ingade imithe.
Bambi bayayihleba bathi ngunotoyi okanye yinkabi. Ngobuhibakazi ke neentombi zethu zifune ukubonisa ezo zityhifili ukuba azingabo oonotoyi; zenze abantwana bezicithi. Obunjani bona ubuhiba!
Wofika zidlisela ngebango lesondlo ke iintombi zethu, zisithi bahoyiwe abazo abantwana ngooyise. Kanti ke utata wasezicithini akangeke abe ngutata udingekayo ebomini bomntwana.
Uninzi lootata abanjalo wofumanisa ukuba banabafazi okanye amashweshwe athi angahambisani ngokupheleleyo nokondliwa komntwana wezicithi. Kufuneke abonwe ngamathunzi umntwana ngathi kuyathakathwa.
Utata odingekayo emntwaneni ngulowo uhlala nomntwana endlwini. Umntwana udinga ukukhula esithi ‘tata’ ‘mama’, ebakhwaza basabele maxa onke, hayi utata obonwa ngedinga ngathi libanjwa lona libonwa ngemvume yamadindala.
Mandulo esi sikhewu sasivalwa ngokuthi abantwana abanje banikwe oomhakhulu, bathi ‘tata’ ‘mama’ kubo, bangakhuli bengenatata.
Amasikizi enzekayo ke kukuba uninzi lwabantwana abakhule ngaphandle kootata benza kwale nto inye ekukhuleni kwabo. Intombi iyazala umfana amithise bengatshatanga!
Bambalwa kakhulu abathi bafunge ukuba bona abasokuze benze abantwana abaza kuba kwinkxwaleko yokungabi natata, njengabo. Bakukhula bazenzela ababo abamntwana abangenatata. Ndaza ndakuva zwindini!
Ukuba besikuthintela ukuzala ngaphandle komtshato noqhawulo-mtshato lungekho ngesingekho ku le meko ikhalisa okaNzawumbi. Ziyanda ke iintsapho ezinje.
Iza kucima into yokuba umntwana emvelini uba notata nomama, neyokuba abantwana kufuneka babe notata nomama omnye. Sele iyinto yasentsomini ukuthi isondo lelomtshato. Ikhaya nesiduko ziyaphelelwa.
Uthi wakumbuza umntwana wanamhlanje ukuba ngowaphi na, athi “kulomama kusekuthinithini, kulotata kusekuthinithini”; angawuphenduli umbuzo wokuba ungowaphi na yena.
Nakwisiduko uchaza into ekwafana, yokuba unina ngumamthile uyise ngumthile, angazichazi yena kuba kaloku uphakathi kweBhayi neTinarha. Ndaze ndakuva zwindini! Goba msenge iibhokhwe zikutye!
Owenu kwisiXhosa, Nxuba
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