#Spitch ndinengxaki…

#Spitch Ndicela uncedo. Ndixolise ukuba ndiphumile emxholweni. Ndihlala eMdantsane nomama ondizalayo, 56, nabantwana bam abayi3 nomzukulwana, omnye uhlala kudadobawo wam. Ndinabantwana bane bebonke, intombi kunye namakhwenkwe amathathu, enye ngumzukulwana. Ndina41 mna, umntakwethu ona23 nomalume ongaphezu kwe60 bahlala apha nabo.

Ingxaki yam ingendlela izinto ezenziwa ngayo ngumama, uyakhetha kakhulu, futhi akayifihli lo nto. Mna ndikhuliswe ngutata wam. Ndidibene naye umama ngo2014. Ndandina36 ukuqala kwam ukumbona. Ndiqale ukuhlala naye 2017. Ebengumntu okonwabeleyo ukudibana kwethu evuyela nokuba ndizohlala kuye. Ndandingasebenzi ngoko, ndandihlala nomyeni ePretoria, and he was verbally abusive, still is. So i needed a break from him ndazohlala nomama kuba ndifuna sazane ngcono.

Ndathutha nabantwana. Biggest mistake. Fast forward to last year. Uye watshintsha umama, around August/September, wangumntu oba nomsindo kwaye umsindo wakhe ujolise ebantwaneni. Waqala ngokusoloko engxolisa lo umdala uyintombazana (22 then), esithi ulixelegu, ikhitshi malingabi mdaka ekhona. Ubefunda ke lo mntu, upgrading her matric. Esebenza ngeeweekend. Then she started attacking aba bancinci, (9 years and 5 years last year), esithi mabosha umbane xa bemane befudumeza ukutya okanye lo una10 xa epheka noodles okanye esenza iti.

Asinayo iketile apha endlini, ihlala kubhuti wam kwiflat yakhe. Athi bayadlala ngokutya. Wade wathi bangaphinde balusebenzise ubisi. Phofu ndilithenga ngegrant yabo. Ke mna ndingumntu ongahlaliyo ncam apha endlini, mandithi bendingahlali ncam, ngoba kukho ikhaya eli bendikhuliswe kulo, kulotata. Uye wasweleka kunyaka ophelileyo. Akukho mntu ngoku, bendimane ndisiya khona, okanye ndiye kwadabawo lo uhlala nomntwana wam wesibini.

Kulo nyaka, ndihambile ngoFebruary ndayokuhlala kwadabawo. Kanti abantwana bam bazoshiyeka behleli kakubi nangakumbi. Bengxoliselwa ukuzenzela ukutya. Wade lo una10 waku boycott(a) ukutya iveki. Ndabuya ke, ndangambuzi nto umama, phofu ndabe ndibaxelele oodabawo ukuba andizukwazi ke ngoku ukuba ndimane ndisiya ekhaya ngaphandle ukuba yiholide ndizohamba nabantwana bam. Ndacela oodabawo bandincedise kwigrocery, phofu bebehleli bendincedisa, but i guess it wasn’t enough for umama. Ndabuya ke, futhi nyhani ndabuya eworse inkohlakalo. Ndathula andathetha nto.

Umyeni lo wam ongutata wale 2 incinci, wathi ufuna ukuza azobona abantwana, this was in May, mna ndibuye April. Abantwana babhityile bangamathambo. Ndanoloyiko ke ngoku ukuba ndizothi batheni abantwana benje kutata wabo. Futhi nabo bazomxelela. I ended up ndimbalisela imeko. Naye akaphangeli, kodwa uthi xa efumene loo senti acinge ukuzobona abantwana bakhe. Kangangendlela ebekukubi ngayo kule ndlu, ngeweekend bendiye ndithathe abantwana siye kutata wabo.

Phofu bahlukunyezwa nangumalume wam, uyasithuka, uyababetha. He is not a South African and since ndingasebenzi naye engasebenzi he can’t get permit/citizenship. He is kind of self employed, kodwa akakwazi ukuhlala eSA for a long period. Nangoku uhleli just 3 months waphinda eZimbabwe.

Ndingabhala kuse phandle ngentlungu endikuyo. Ngoba ngoku akukho nombane apha endlini, ngoba kaloku owam umama uxabise izinja zakhe, aziphekela ukutya ngoku awubonayo ukuba uyaphela umbane. Athi xa ndingaphekanga kuba ndidiniwe angxole athi ndiselfish ngoba andibacingeli abanye abantu.

Phofu abo bantu ngubrother wakhe nonyana wakhe, ngoba kaloku kungafa umntu xa bengenophekelwa kuba bona eyabo imali yeyokuthenga utywala instead of buying themselves into yokutya. Mna ndimbi entloko ngoba ndinabantwana abajonga kum xa belambile. Ndingazuziqoba ndidiniwe ndime embizeni just for abantu abanezandla nabo.

As a result xa ndingazupheka ndithenga ihalf balale betyile abantwana. Kubhitye mna ke ngoku ngoba i sacrifice okwam ukutya for iintsana zam. Ndiphila ngeti emnyama. Igrant yabo idibene neyomzukulwana yi1200, but ndithenga iitoiletries, nokutya, nombane. Problem yam ke ngoku is that family yam oodabawo didn’t understand ukuba i needed a break kule situation yale ndlu, so bazikhupha kum. They stopped buying us groceries, literally. Ngoba mna bendimane ndiyokipita nomyeni, as they put it.

My daughter is sick. Lo nyaka wonke uyagula, ukhule isisu oku komntu okhulelweyo, she looks 9 months pregnant, kwathiwa yicyst, kungona azokwenziwa ioperation next week.

Ndidinga umsebenzi. I have a ND in Public Management, obtained in 2000. I’ve worked as an admin clerk back in 2001 to 2005 in a private school kodwa the school closed down. Worked as a sales person 2006 to 2009

Worked as a cashier 2011 to 2012. Then again as an admin clerk at a creche in Pretoria 2015 to 2016. Qha umrholo wawumncinci kwaye ndihlutshwa nangulo myeni wam. Andisakhathali ke ngoku nokuba ngowokuklina, andiwuchasanga tuu. Andina reference as a cleaner, since I’ve never worked for anybody, except cleaning indlu endihlala kuyo. Andisakhathali ke ngoku nokuba ndisebenzela umntu, at least ndizobe ndibhatalwa, kunale yokubonwa as isicaka esingabhatalwayo.

Namhlanje njengoba kungekho mbane, umama uhambe wayokuboleka imbiza emnyama for ukuphekela izinja zakhe. Thina noba asityanga, she doesn’t care. Mna ke I’m used to not eating. But abantwana bona cannot go without eating. Funeka ngoku ndihambe ndicela, into endingazange ndiyenze apha ebomini bam. Abazoya esikolweni ngomso ngoba akukho ndlela yokuba bahlambe namhlanje. Nangona bekubhetele beyile ngoba kukho ifeeding scheme. Wow!! Mna andiyazi iintlupheko!! Ukuba yiyo le ndikuyo into, it is surely humbling. I salute abantu abahluphekayo. Ndibahloniphile.

IMPENDULO: Sisi, ndicela undithumele inombolo yakho kwikhasi lam likaFacebook ‘Spitch Nzawumbi’, andikuthembisi msebenzi kodwa noko ungumntu onento esandleni, ndizoncedisana kunye nawe. Le ndiyifunda apha akusontlalo yamntu tuu! Kuzofuneka wena uzame ukuphuma apho kwindlu kamama wakho, uyozifunela indawo yokuzimela yakho nabantwana bakho. Ndinoloyiko lokuba ngenye imini abantwana bakho bakuzonde ngelithi zange ubakhusele behlukunyezwa ukhona. Kucace mhlophe ukuba ubudlelwane bukamama wakho nabantwana aba bakho abubuhlanga, ndijongile nje nobenu ubudlelwane abubuhlanga ncam. Kuzofuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba uzokwenza ntoni wena ukutshintsha loo meko. Ukhetha ukuhlala endlini kamama wakho okanye uyokwakha ikhaya lakho nabantwana bakho.