BEKUKHO amaxesha afune ukuyeka ukubalisa ibali lakhe elibuhlungu, elimkhumbuza imbali yobomi azama ukubulibala, kodwa bekunyanzelekile aziqokelele ukuze ajamelane ngqo noko kwamtyakatya umphefumlo kwiminyaka edlulileyo.
Le yindlela uLoyiso Lindani ebeziva ngayo ngethuba ebhala incwadi engobomi bakhe ebizwa ‘How HIV Saved My Life’.
Encokolela I’solezwe lesiXhosa, uthi bekunzima kuba bekufuneka andwendwele iinkumbulo zobomi bakhe abengafuni ukubukhumbula.
ULindani, okwayintatheli kwakunye nosomashishini, yinzalelwane yaKwaNobuhle eTinarha (eyiKariega ngoku).
Kule ncwadi, phakathi kwezinye izinto, ubhala ngebali lakhe lokuswelekelwa ngumama, ukuxhatshazwa, ukukhulelwa eselula nokosuleleka yintsholongwane yeHIV.
“Ixesha elininzi bendigula ngethuba ndibhala le ncwadi. Bendinentloko esisimanga, bendifuna ukuyeka [ukuyibhala] kodwa ndaqhubekeka. Bekufuneka ndenze indima yam kwaye ndithathe uxanduva lwezinto ezimbi ezindehleleyo. Bekufuneka ndijongane neempazamo zam,” kubalisa uLindani ngendlela azive ngayo ngethuba ebhala le ncwadi.
ULindani uthi bekufuneka anyaniseke esiqwini sakhe, angasoli bani ngeempazamo zakhe, kodwa avume ukuba nguye owazibeka emngciphekweni wokosuleleka yintsholongwane yeHIV.
“Inyaniso yeyokuba impilo yam luxanduva lwam. Kwakungafanelanga ukuba ndithembe omnye umntu ngayo, ndicinge ukuba ngokuthemba nokuthandaza andiyi kosuleleka. Kwakufanele ukuba ndithe gqolo ukusebenzisa ikhondom, kwaye ndizivavanye kusengethuba.
ULindani uzibhaqe ngo2006 ukuba uphila neHIV kwaye wayesoyika.
“Ndandiqala ngqa ukuya kuzivavanyela iHIV. Andiyazi, ndandindindisholo kwaye ndothukile. Ndandingazazi ukuba ndizive kanjani. Ndandicinga ukuba ndiza kufa kwiinyanga ezintathu, ngoko ndaye ndaqalisa ukuzilungiselela ukufa kwam ngokwasengqondweni,” uLindani uyabalisa.
Uthi ukuzalwa komntwana wakhe kwamtshintsha kule ngcamango.
Uthi ukuphila neHIV kumncede waguqula ubomi bakhe.
“Ndandingenguye lo Loyiso nina nimaziyo. Ndandingazithembanga kwaye ndikhangela uthando emadodeni ayendixhaphaza. Ukufumanisa ukuba ndiHIV kwandivusa. Kwabangela ukuba nditshintshe ubomi bam bube ngcono, nto eyazala lo Loyiso nimaziyo ngoku.
“Ukuzalwa komntwana wam kwandinyanzela ndiphile. Ndandifuna ukuba khona ecaleni kwakhe, yeyona nto yandigcina ndiphila leyo.”
Ibhala le ncwadi nje le nzwakazi, ithi izixolele ngako konke kwaye ngoku yazi ngcono kunakuqala.
ULindani uthi ngethuba ebhala bemana ethabatha ikhefu, atye iipilisi zeentlungu ngenxa yentloko esisimanga. Uthi ngalo lonke elo xesha ebezifihla ekhaya kuba engafuni kukhathaza abantu abadala.
“Kwezo ntsuku bendiye ndiphumle okanye ndikhe ndizibethise ngomoya, kulapho ibali beliye libuye kwakhona lithi ‘ndibhale’ – ngoko bendiye ndenze njengokuba lisitsho kum,” kubalisa uLindani.
“Ndihlala ndisithi ndibhala ngcono kunokuthetha. Ixesha elininzi bendiziva ndingavisiswa okanye ndingaqondisiswa kakuhle, ukubhala ibe yindlela yokuvakalisa ilizwi lam,” kutsho lo mbhali.
Uxhatshazo awagilana nalo eselula , zezinye zezinto ezibuhlungu uLindani athetha ngazo kule ncwadi.
” Bekubakho amaxesha wokuba ndibethwe iintsuku zonke ndiseyintwazana efikisayo. Ndaye ndathandana nootata abadala kunam njengendlela yokubaleka le ntlungu ndijamelene nayo kodwa bekuphela ixhoba indim. Bekukubi!”
Uthi ukuswela uthando lukatata wakhe eludinga, kwamenza wazibona njengofanelwe zizo zonke izibi ezimehleleyo.
” Indoda yokuqala engazange yandinika thando ngutata wam kwaye kobo bantu bendithandana nabo bendikhangela yena, kodwa eneneni ebengekho kuloo madoda. Bekukho namaxesha wokuba ndikholelwe ukuba uThixo undidalele ukuba ndive kabuhlungu.”
Umbhali uthi waye wakhulelwa eminyaka engama22 kwaye ephila neHIV, waye wabaleka ekhaya kuba engafuni kukhupha isisu.
Uthi inkxaso wayifumana kubahlobo bakhe, abambonisa ukuba bukho ubomi ngaphaya kweHIV.
Uthi ngaphandle kokubalisa ibali lakhe, ebezama nokuveza ukuba abantu abantsundu abanalo iqonga lokuxoxa okanye babelane ngezimvo neentsapho, amaqabane abo kwanezihlobo.
“Kwakungekho mntu wokundixelela ukuba okwakuqhubeka kum yayilunxunguphalo. Ndandingazi. Kum yayibubomi besiqhelo. Ndandingumntwana kwaye kwanyanzeleka ndikhule ngokukhawuleza kuba kwiminyaka eyi-17 ndandisele ndiyinkedama,” uLindani uyabalisa.
Uthi waye waqalisa ukuphangela eminyaka eli-19.
“Ngoko andizange ndibe nalo ithuba lokuba ngumntwana. Ndandisela [utywala] ngamandla, ndiphuma ndingena kubudlelwane namaqabane ayendixhaphaza.”
Uthi waye walahlekelwa kokuninzi, kuquka abahlobo abalisa ngabo kule ncwadi kwanomsebenzi wakhe eRhawutini.
Uthi nangona ibali kule ncwadi lingqale kuye kodwa uyibhalele wonke ubani odlule ebunzimeni okanye entlungwini efana neyakhe, kodwa akabinaso isibindi sokubhala incwadi.
Kwakule ncwadi, uLindani ubhala nangempilo yengqondo kamama wakhe nokusweleka kwakhe ngenxa yezifo ezoyamene neHIV/Aids.
“Ingodlwengulo phakathi kwezithandani nangabo bosuleleke okanye bachatshazelwayo yiHIV/Aids.
Ungazifundela le ncwadi ngokutyelela kwa – www.balakudu.com okanye ku- loyisolindani.com.
Kulindeleke ifumaneke nakwiivenkile ezithengisa iincwadi kungekudala.
BUKELA – Usuku lwenkululeko: Izimvo zabantu