Uxolo, Ukuxolela, Noxolelwaniso

Kumaxesha amaninzi siye sisebenzise eli gama “Ndikuxolele” singaqinisekanga ngobunzulu balo. Namhlanje ndifuna sikhe singene nzulu siphicothe ukubaluleka koxolo, ukuxolelwa kunye noxolelwaniso.

Kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezigqithileyo, kanye kwesasiphithi-phithi seziyunguma zikaDisemba, ndidibene negqiyazana elithe landibalisela ngokwalehlelayo, ngendlela yokuxhatshazwa kwalo ngokwesondo ngulowo wayesisinqandamathe salo; kwabanefuthe elibi ebomini balo. Ukumkhusela ke sizakumpha igama sithi nguZuziwe.

UZuziwe wayefana naye nabani na osemathandweni, ehambela phezulu, intliziyo ibhakuzela ibetha ngamandla, futhi enesiqinisekiso sokuba iqabane lakhe lingenza nantoni na ukumkhusela.

Into angazange ayiqonde ke kukuba kumaxa amaninzi abo sibathandayo, ngabona abavamise ukusikhathaza kakhulu.

Kunyaka ka-2008, uzuziwe waxhatshazwa liqabane lakhe, lazithathela kulo mhlaba ongezantsi ngolunya, limonzakalisa ngokwasenyameni, kodwa limshiya namanxeba asemphefumlweni angenakuphola.

Umbuzo ebendinawo ngoku endinabisela ngokwamehlelayo ibikukuba, “inoba umntu obumthembe ngolo hlobo, umthanda ngentliziyo yakho yonke, waze wakona ngolo hlobo, umxolela njani?”.

Kwandothusa kakhulu ukuva uZuziwe esithi okwamkhululayo emphefumlweni kukumxolela lowo wamonayo.

Ndizibuze ndiziphendula ngolu xolo. Ndizama ukungena kwiingcinga zomntu owoniweyo nokubaluleka kokuxolela kuye. Kumaxa amaninzi siye sicinge ukuba ukuxolela kukhulula umoni kuphela, kanti kuyimpiliso nakuthi singaboniwa ngeendlela ezininzi.

Ndibuyele emva ngeengcinga zam ndacinga amaxesha apho endathi ndaxolela umenzi wobubi engacelanga xolo. Kodwa ngoba ndandifuna ukuzikhulula ndiqhubeke nobom, ndingenanzondo mntwini, ndaxolela.

Uxolo lukhulula wena ngaphezu komoni. Isizathu soko kukuba amaxesha amaninzi umenzi usube engasakhumbuli nasiganeko eso, kodwa umenziwa esakhumbula yonke into ngesiganeko eso ngokungathi senzeke izolo.

Isizathu soko kukuba singabantu, siyathanda ukonga intlungu, siyisondeze kuthi kodwa singayiqondi indlela esonzakalisa ngayo thina singabenziwa.

Zikhona ke iintlungu esingenako ukunaba ngazo kuba zingekasehleli okanye zikude kunathi.

Umzekelo intlungu yomzali oswelekelwe ngumntwana ngengozi andinako ukungena kubunzulu bayo. Kodwa ndikhe ndayibona kwabo bakufuphi nam.

Enye into, kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba xa uxolela umntu awuthi oko ebekwenzile kulungile okanye kwakufanelekile.

Nto nje uthi, izenzo zakho nokundiphatha kakubi kwakho, ndithathe isigqibo sokuba ndikukhulule ungabi nabudlelwane nam. Umntu ozuza kwesosigqibo ngumenziwa ngaphezu komenzi.

Maxa wambi ke, uzozibhaqa kufuneka uxolele umntu ongabonakalisi kuzisola ngezenzo zakhe. Umntu ongafuni nokuthi ucela uxolo okanye ongaboni bungozi kwinto awayenza kuwe, naye mxolele, ukulungisa wena.

Ukugcina inzondo ngaphakathi kufana nokusela ityhefu wakugqiba ulindele ukuba kufe omnye umntu, hayi wena mseli wayo.

Ungabinaxolo kufana nesifo somhlaza, kubhubhisa yonke into enobom neqaqambayo ebomini bakho. Ubudlelwane bakho nabanye abantu buhlala busemngciphekweni.

Njengamenzi wobubi kubalulekile ukuba nawe uzikhulule, ucele uxolo wakuqonda iziphene zakho neempazamo othe wazenza.

Zikhulule kumakhamandela okuzibetha ngeempazamo ozenze ngaphambili. Ngamanye amaxesha, abo ucela uxolo kubo abazulwamkela.

Lo nto ayithi wena awunako ukuzixolela. Uxolo luqala kuwe wena menzi, phambi kokuba luyofika kumenziwa. Lanto ke abasemzini abathi yi- “Self-forgiveness”.

Zibakhona iimeko apho umenziwa kuye kuthiwe akasekho emhlabeni. Kulapho kanye okwakuzixolela wena njengomenzi kusebenza khona.

Maxa wambi ke, abantu ababini bayakwazi ukuba ngabenzi omnye-komnye. Apho uye ufumanise ukuba omnye wathetha amazwi arhabaxa komnye waze nomnye wabuyisa arhabaxa.

Kwiimeko ezinjalo ke, uxolelwaniso lubalula kakhulu. Apho kuye kufuneke kubekhona umntu wesithathu ozokudibanisa iintlambi ezi zombini, kuthetha-thethwane kuze kuxolelwane.

Zinzima kakhulu iimeko esithi sizibhaqe kuzo ebomini. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba sibeke phambili uxolo nokuba zinzima kangakanani na. Okokugqibela, ukuxolela akuthi phinda ubenobudlelwane nomenzi. Kukuwe ukubona kufanelekile oko.

Kodwa undoqo kukukhulula umphefumlo wakho uqhubeke nobom ungenanxa namntu. Yanga ungaxolela njengoko nawe ungathanda ukuxolelwa. Yanga ungazixolela apho wenze khona impazamo, yaye ufunde kuzo.