Inzala emadodeni

Akukho bani ukhathalayo xa amadoda engenabantwana kuba uhlobo azibalula ngalo amadoda eluntwini aluqanyangelwanga ekubeni ngutata ngokufanayo xa kuthelekiswa nasekubeni ngumama kubantu ababhinqileyo.

Asilohlobo lokubona izinto oluhambelana nemeko yokulingana ngesini ke olo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyindoda exhalabileyo kukuba imbewu yobudoda bakho sele iyintloya nje… Woga! Yima kancinci! Kanene yimfeketho yantoni le ndiyicingayo? Ukuba uyindoda, ewe kakade, awubinaxhala ngemeko yembewu yakho yobudoda okanye ukuba unayo inzala kusini na . Asinto ifane yenziwe ngamadoda leyo yokuxhalaba.

Endaweni yokuxhalaba, siye xa sisengamatyendyana abafana sinqwenele okokuba singabi nanzala, nto leyo engathi isivumele okokuba sinkcenkceshele nje imbewu ngaphandle kwexhala lokokuba kunganesivuno esiphazamisana nolonwabo lwethu emva kweenyanga ezilithoba. Apha ekukhuleni kwethu, kuyenzeka okokuba sixhalatyiswe luhlobo nobungakanani bemitsi esiyenzayo xa sukube kutsitywa iziko, kukungomeleli okanye ubude besagweba esiqule ngaso, nokunye nokunye. Into yokokuba imbewu yobudoda sele iyintloya nje, okanye ukuba sempilweni nokomelela kwabaya nojubalala, akufani kusenze sicinge kabini de singehlelwa bubuthongo.

Uphando lwam apha ezirhangeni xa ndincokola namadoda afumana unyango (kunye namaqabane awo) lundichazela okokuba uninzi lwamadoda alufane luxhalatyiswe kukungabi nabantwana. Nditsho nalawo axilongwe ngoogqirha afunyaniswa enengxaki, isiqingatha esivisayo kuwo siyaphika okokuba kukho into engalunganga kwinzala yawo.

Ukususela apho, azibona njengabantu abafanayo nje namanye amadoda, abantu abanengxakana nje ngohlobo abaphila ngalo ezinjengokutshaya nokusela kakhulu, okanye ababona okokuba ubukhulu bengxaki bukumaqabane abo, hayi bona. Nditsho nakwimbinana yamadoda ekuvumayo ukuba iyakhathazwa kukungabinabantwana, uhlobo acinga ngalo nohlobo athetha ngalo kubonakalisa ubuchule bengqondo obunentekelelelo ukuze akhusele isidima sawo sobudoda.

Endikuqwalaseleyo kukuba, nangona ababhinqileyo abangakwaziyo ukuba nabantwana bekholisa ukuyifukama ngaphakathi le ingxaki , ngohlobo oluzibeka ubutyala bokungagqibeleli ekubeni ngamaqabane, amadoda wona ayikhabela pha kude lo meko yokungafumani bantwana , ngohlobo nje olufana nomqhubi wemoto yomdyarho ongenangxaki emva kwevili, kuphela nje ophoxwa kukungasebenzi kakuhle kwenjini yemoto okungaphaya kwamandla akhe. Konke oku kumenza umntu ondim akhe abuye umva, azikise ukucinga ngale meko .

Ukungafumani bantwana. Nditsho nkqu igama eli aliyichazi ngokuthe ngqo imeko. Alithethi ncam le nto ekukhangeleka liyichaza. Akufani nemeko exilongiweyo kwabonakala okokuba awunakufumana bantwana. Kaloku, ukungafumani bantwana ayisikokuxilongwa ncam ze kufunyanwe unobangela wesigulo ngaphezulu kokokuba iluhlobo esithi sijonge ngasemva ze sichaze ubume bemeko yangoku esizifumana sikuyo. Akudli ngokukhonjwa kwisizekabani esithile, yaye iimpawu zako ziba kukusilela kwento ethile, ukusilela kokudlulileyo, ukulungiselela ikamva ngento ethile. Intlungu ehambelana nale meko ikwanjalo ukuba yinqontsonqa.

Abantu abaninzi bakhe bahlangabezana nentlungu apha ebomini: balahlekelwa ngabosapho ababathandayo, baqhawukelwa likhonkco lomtshato, okanye kwaphela ubudlelwane kwabebethandana nabo. Intlungu ke leyo, amaxesha amaninzi, icacile yaye ayiphithenanga. Le yona intlungu, enye leya kungancokolwayo ngayo, ayinasiganeko nasiphelo. Yintlungu etsho emongameleyo ufike amehlo akhe emana ukuthi gwantyu iinyembezi. Yintlungu yokungafumani bantwana. Amaqabane anale ntlungu asoloko ebopheleleke ngokuhlala ethembeni lokokuba obhinqileyo angamitha nanini na , kodwa kusuke kungabikho njalo. Amatyeli ngamatyeli. Ze bazibone besentlungwini yokulahlekelwa . Kodwa ke, umbuzo uthi: balahlekelwe yintoni? Akukho sisu sichithekileyo, akukho sana oluye alwalunga, ngoko ke akukho nto iyintlungu ihambisana nokulahlekelwa ephathekayo. Kuyingxaki ke xa sukuba kungekho siganeko simileyo esikhumbulekayo esingathi sincedisane nokokuba umntu azinikezele ngentliziyo yakhe yonke ukuhoyana nobo buhlungu, xa kungekho ndlela yokukhomba ngqo entweni uthi “le, yile nto endiphulukene nayo”, kuba kaloku kuthi kungabikho mphini ubambekayo wokuzamisa uqunge intlungu leyo. Kuthi kusakungabikho siganeko saziwayo esithi simisele iingcinga kwabanye yokokuba amaqabane la agutyungelwe yintlungu, intlungu yabo ibe yesemfihlakalweni, ze ngamanye amaxesha ibe yethandabuzekayo, ibe yelambathayo: intlungu le ingaba yesekelezelwe elizeni ngaphandle nje kwemijikelo yokuzama kunye nethemba kunye nokuzama kwakhona kunye nethemba elilonzizayo , kunye nokuba sentlungwini okukhangeleka kuyintlekisa. Nangona kukhangeleka kuziintloni kwabaninzi ukuthetha ngalo mba, ndicinga okokuba ukuzisizela ufele ngaphakathi ngoyena mtyholi mkhulu.

Ukuthetha ngale ntlungu ineembuso ngeembuso kwabanganenkxaso novelwano kusengaba lelona nyathelo lokuqala ekuthezeni amandla umvandedwa nesizekabani esenza umntu abe likheswa: ukuthetha kubahlobo, kubamelwane, kumalungu osapho nawo asentlungwini efanayo engathethekiyo ube wena ungayazi nokuyazi lo nto.

Ukuthetha phandle kungathi kuze neenguqu kunye nesisombululo xa sithi sijongane nobunjalo bemeko yokungafumani bantwana ngokuthi sinyanzelise abasemagunyeni – kwezopolitiko, kwezonyango, kwezorhwebo, nakwezenkcubeko – bavuke emaqandeni abolileyo malunga nale meko enobuzaza entlalweni yethu.