Kungeli xesha lonyaka apho ndiye ndibone intlungu yabazali abangomama bebila besoma bedibanisa i-Andazi kunye ne-Ayikho kuphume i-Ikhona.
Undoqo kukuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana babo bafumana imfundo ekwizinga eliphakamileyo ukuze babenekamva eliqaqambileyo. Kwiminyaka elishumi eyagqithayo ndandingomnye wabo bantwana.
Njengamntwana okhuliswe ngumama ozimeleyo, ndayibona intsokolo yowam umzali nabanye abazali bezama ukuba sifumane imfundo ephakamileyo noogxa. Ndamane ndizibuza ke ukuba kanti ootata aba, babakhona xa kutheni, empilweni yomntwana.
Kumnandi ukuphumelela ibanga leshumi ikakhulukazi xa usebenze ngokuzinikela waphumelela emagqabini. Eyona ntlungu kukubona umzalikazi engazi ukuba makadibanise ntoni ukuze umntwana wakhe aye kwa No-College okanye eyunivesithi.
Intlungu ke leyo ingasebenza ngeendlela ezimbini; ingamenza omelele umntwana asebenze ngokuzinikela ukuze angaphoxi umzali. Okanye angatyhafa azibandakanye neziyobisi kunye nobundlobongela kuba enenzondo ngakuyise.
Oomama abaninzi bazizikhukukazi, babathwala abantwana babo de kubelilixa lokugqibela. Andibabekeli bucala ootata abakhulisa abantwana bebodwa, ndingabalibalanga kananjalo oomama abashiya abantwana bangabakhathaleli, kungekho sizathu.
Kodwa okwangoku ndithanda ukugxila apha kootata abafa bethwele iminqwazi. Leli xesha lonyaka elithunuka izilonda kubantwana abaninzi libakhumbuze ngootata abakhoyo kodwa bengekho.
Akululanga ukukhulisa umntwana kule mihla siphila kuyo. Iimfuno zabantwana bale mihla zezexabiso eliphezulu kakhulu. Ukusuka kukutya, iimpahla kunye nemfundo yale mihla.
Noxa ndigxininisa kwimfundo nje, umntwana uyamdinga utata wakhe ekukhuleni. Indawo katata iyakuhlala ivakala nokuba umama wakhe angasebenza nzima kangakanani na. Utata yintsika yekhaya kunye nobugagu okanye ukuzithemba emntwaneni. Ndiyayiqonda ukuba iimeko zamakhaya azifani. Ndiyiqonda kananjalo into yokuba bakhona ootata abangathanda ukubayinxalenye yeempilo zabantwana babo kodwa ngenxa yempixano ephakathi kwabo noomama babantwana, bangalifumani elothuba.
Oku kungabangelwa kukuba izinto zingathanga zalunga phakathi kwabazali aba babini, utata ongahlawuli isondlo somntwana okanye utata oye wangasivumi isisu waze wasamkela mva. Zonke ke ezizinto ziye zibangele ukuba omama abathile babenentiyo yaye bangabavumi otata ekubeni yinxalenye yempilo zabantwana babo.
Zonke ke ezi meko, zihamba zichaphazele umntwana ekugqibeleni. Akekho umntwana ongafuni ukwazi uyise futhi abenobudlelwane naye. Nditsho sele kuthiwa watshata wanenye intsapho uyise.
Umntwana uyakuhlala emlangazelela. Akululanga ke ukuphola nakwimivimbo yokudaniswa ngutata wakho ngezithembiso athe wazenza ekukhuleni kwakho waze wangazifezekisi.
Umntwana uye athi ngokuba ekhula abenengxaki zokuthemba abantu, athi ukuba akayinikanga ngqwalasela le meko, afumane ukululanywa ngokwasengqondweni, abenengxaki ezigqithisileyo kubudlelwane bakho nabanye abantu ebudaleni. Ndicinga ukuba nokuba kwakwenzeke ntoni na.
Nokuba ingxabano yayingantoni na. Izicwangciso zabazali nondoqo kumele ukuba likamva lomntwana. Akumnandanga ukuva oogxa bakho bethetha kamnandi ngootata babo. Ube wena umazi ukuba owakho usaphila ntonje akanandima ayidlalayo empilweni yakho.
Kungakhathaliseki ke futhi nokuba umntwana ubesenziwe phantsi kwezinjani iimeko. Xa sele ekhona, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abenobudlelwane noyise. Kungcono kakhulu ukubona abazali bakho bephathisene besiwa bevuka belungiselela ikamva lomntwana wabo. Kunokubukela umzali omnye, ongamzisanga yedwa umntwana kweli hlabathi, ezixhutha iinwele esenza amabona-ndenzile.
Umnqweno wam kukuba esi ibesisizukulwana sabazali abenza kangangoko ukuqinisekisa ukuba ikamva lomntwana alikho mfiliba. Abaqiniseka ukuba iingxabano, iyantlukwano, nokungavisisani kwabo bakubekela bucala ukulungiselela umntwana wabo.
Ukanti nakwabo abathe bakhula bangamadoda amadala bengafumananga nkxaso nagalelo kootata babo, yanga ningenza konke okusemandleni ukuqinisekisa ukuba abenu abantwana abayiva la ntlungu enithe nagqitha kuyo. Pha esilungwini kunentetho ethi “Hurt People, Hurt People”. Nto leyo ethetha ukuba abantu abophuke ngaphakathi baye bophule imiphefumlo yabanye abantu. Yanga ungazijonga, uzigocagoce uzibuze ukuba ungumzali onjani na wena, yaye bunjani ubudlelwana bakho nomntwana okanye abantwana bakho.
Lisekhona ithuba lokuguquka wenze ngcono. Undoqo, likamva lomntwana.
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